Rants of a Guild Leader

*Disclaimer*

Tab is mad. Not as mad as she was last night, but still highly pissed. If you are in a good mood, do not read this blog, I will probably bring you down.

That being said, here goes.

Last night was raid night number two for this week for Sacred Pack/Shattered Dreams i.e. "Sacred Dreams". It was awful. Just awful. And here's the kicker...we made progress. We got Gluth down last night, something we weren't able to do last week. And one more attempt, and we would have had Thaddius down. Our third try was ten thousand times better than the first and if we'd had a few more people make it, we would have made the timer. But that's a mute point.

Why am I mad if we're making progress? Why? That's a wonderful question. I'm mad because of people's negative attitudes. I'm pissed. I was so angry last night I was yelling at my husband. I'm not talking voice raised, I'm a little upset yelling. I'm talking all out, I can't control the volume or pitch of my voice and I'm shaking I'm so angry yelling.

Okay, stop, time out. Why in the world am I this angry about a game? It is after all...just a game. Yes, it is just a game, and I've been telling myself that over and over and over since last night. But inside this game are people, and right now, I'm really pissed at those people. My real life friends and game friends a like. I'm pissed at them.

I'm pissed because last night, it was one thing after the other. First off, we had 20 people signed up to be at this raid. 20 people accepted the initiation for last night. 20. That means I only need to find five replacements. Oh great, one of those that declined was a healer. That's awesome. So I've been talking to an old buddy's new GM. Really nice guy. Was interested in starting up a 25 man joint raid with Sacred Pack before he learned we already had an alliance going. We chatted for a while a couple nights ago and we agreed to let them know if we were short and they would be more than happy to fill in spots til their 25 man alliance starts in a couple of weeks. Cool deal. Okay, Kroff, exactly how many are we short? Alright, we need x amount and one needs to be a healer. No problemo. We'll be there.

Ten minutes til raid time, time to start inviting. Okay, picking up Sacred Pack folks first, say in guild "when you're ready for invite, let me know", /who Shattered. Umm...there's five people on in their guild. Did I miss something? *refresh* Nope, still five people on.

At this point, I'm getting kind of flustered. Now we're ten minutes after raid was supposed to start. Sacred Pack is still missing two of it's members, one of which is a healer, and now there are a few more on in Shattered Dreams, but still less than ten. What the hell? Did I miss something?

So we wait. I'm able to pull a few more from Karaviri, but since we've waited this long we're just going to wait on three people that were running late. Might as well at this point. We've missed the first HOUR of raid time. And guess what? Chapp and Gracey still aren't on. No one has seen or heard from them. Honestly, I have a feeling something happened or came up that they had to deal with or lost power or internet or something. It's really not normal that they do something like that. Hopefully I'll find out the whole story in the next day or two. But we'll see.

That frustration aside, where the heck is most of Shattered Dreams? They have eight people in the raid right now. That's several less than they're supposed to have. We're short too, but I knew Goy wasn't going to be there and had planned on filling his spot. With Chapp and Gracey no where to be found, that put us at 11. That means between the two guilds we had 19 people. I had to pug six people outside of those guilds last night.

Let me interject and say this real quick. A big thanks to Ozuls and his folks at Karaviri for coming and filling in last night. We really appreciate you helping us out and look forward to running with you guys in the future.

That said, I'm not happy about having to pug six people. You can take 25 of the greatest players in the game and throw them together to run a 25 man Naxx and things are still not going to run as smoothly as having 25 people who are used to running together. There's a certain comfort zone people get into when they are used to running with others. It's normal and it's good when it happens. Occassionally you need to switch some things up, but for the most part it's really good to have the same folks running together so they learn each other and each other's play styles.

For example. My husband and I have been playing together for over a year now. I know that I can yell at him when I lose aggro on something and he will run and get it off a healer for me. We're used to playing together and have that connection, and not just because he's my husband. I also know that Jules is an awesome main tank healer. She, because of her spec and her playstyle, is not a raid healer. She just doesn't enjoy it as well. But you put her on a main tank and let her lose and she's going to kick butt. I know that if we're in a de-curse, de-poison situation, I never have to say anything to Asanta about removing said debuffs. He's on it. I know that Teacc is on his toes. I know he knows his class and I can always count on him to tranq shot if needed or drop traps to keep mobs off the healers and squishies, or kite something that's gotten away from me. As a former raid leader, I also know he knows his stuff. So when he's got a suggestion, Kroff and I always listen, because we know him. I could go on, but I think you see the point. The more you run with people, the more you get to know them, not just on a personal level, but how they play. You pick up their quirks and where they shine. It just happens.

So last night, our groove was off from the get go. Hanging out for an hour sucked and having six people out of the norm was going to make learning this new boss a...interesting go. But that's where we were. We FINALLY got the ball rolling and went in and pwned us a Grobulus. At this point, I'm aggravated and ready to go so as soon as everyone hit yes, I pulled. Yep, it was probably too fast, and yes there were probably still some questions, but tough toodles. 24 other people hit yes and we were already running late.

Grob was awesome. We one shot the punk and only lost one person. Okay, distribute loot and let's keep going. On to Gluth. One shot him too. Freaking awesome! Last week we were struggling, but with Noxxic there to help Del kite the adds, it was perfect. Okay, Gluth down, hand out loot and let's do this.

Thaddius. Oh Thaddius. I knew this fight was going to suck. I figured we'd have a couple of wipes before everyone learned "left side negative, right side positive". I totally understand. The very first time I did this fight, I was so confused I never thought I'd get it. But I did and I knew all of these guys would too. We had a head start as I knew for sure that 11 people knew what they were doing. And while that's not half, it's pretty darn close.

Kroff explains, we answer some questions, and we're off. Wipe. Okay, dust the dirt off, let's do it again.

Here's where things really go south for me.

At this point in the raid, our friends at Karaviri start talking about a really easier way to do this fight. They start explaining and things get a little chaotic. I've got people in vent talking, people in chat channels talking, people in raid talking, people in officer talking, and people in guild talking. That's a lot to keep up with while trying to listen to what their idea is. Kroff says we'll try it that way just to see if it works better for people so here we go...

Guild chat is honestly what's pissing me off at this point. There is so much negative talk I'm about to say "screw it, I'm done". But I bite my tongue and I finally get the bright idea to be positive about the situation (ha, ha, okay corny I know). I tell my folks to stop being so down about this and let's be the bigger people and just try it. More negative.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STOP IT! Really, just stop. Can you all not be gung ho about something for ONCE in your life? No one twisted your arm to get you here. YOU chose to come. YOU chose to be here and to be part of this raid. SO STOP BEING NEGATIVE. Really. Get over it. And get over yourself. YOU are not better than the other 24 people in this raid. We are all paying the same repair bill. We ALL had to wait an hour because our guild mates and raid mates chose not to get their butts online. We're ALL in this together and we need to start acting like it.

This...this attitude problem is the EXACT SAME thing that tore Wolfden apart. THIS is the problem. And honestly, I have a bigger problem with my officers being negative than anyone else in the guild. I made you officers for a reason, and gave you responsibilites for a reason. I trust you. I think you're different and that you can handle the responsibilites. And with that title comes something else that you HAVE to do whether you feel like it or not, and that is to be uplifting and a positive influence on the rest of this guild. No, we're not very big. But I don't give two flying flips about how big or small we are. YOUR attitude influences how everyone else is. YOUR negative comments rub off on everyone else. And guess what? If an officer is having problems and expresses that outloud, everyone sees that. Everyone picks up on that. AND that starts rubbing off on everyone else. You were made an officer to be above that and if my officers don't start acting better, I'm going to clean house.

Sacred Pack will NOT, I repeat, will NOT turn into Wolfden. I will leave the game forever before I see that happen. I have worked my butt off to get this guild going, to be fair, and to make everyone happy. I WILL NOT let us fall apart by bad attitudes.

And I'm nipping this in the bud before it gets out of control. I've had a problem for a few weeks now with a few individuals and tomorrow, it's going to stop. I'm having a guild meeting and we're going to talk about this. And if things don't change, well, there's the door.

Don't get me wrong. I meant every word when I talked before about loving my guild. I do. I love each one of them very much and I will bend over backwards to make sure everyone is happy and feels at home. But on the same note, I will not watch our home turn into where we all came from. My main concern is taking care of us, and right now, some things need to change for me to be able to do that.

Honestly, I'm really frustrated. But it's not the game. It really isn't. It's most definitely the people. And it's really sad that it's that way. Interacting with other people is really the core element of WOW. It's what makes it so fun, at least for me. Yea, the content is awesome, but it wouldn't be nearly as much fun if I were doing it alone.

Guilds are in place for a reason. Heirarchy is in place for a reason. But it really seems like no one cares. No one is thankful for their position or for the work that has gone into getting us this far. Sacred Pack has been alive for three months now. Three months...and we're in 25 mans. How cool is that? Maybe for some of those bigger realms, that's really slow, but for Scryers, I think that's awesome. And I know several guilds who wish they were in our shoes. I know a bunch of people who would kill to get as far as my guild has gotten. But somehow, and some where along the way...my folks have lost sight of that. They've forgotten that we're kicking butt and taking names. And I've over it.

For those of you reading this that haven't stopped being thankful, thank you. And I'm sorry I went off. You are what makes being a guild leader so enjoyable and you are the only reason I'm still here. You are the reason I haven't gone off the deep end yet. You guys keep me going and make me want to make things better. You guys tug at my heart strings and keep me logging on putting on my happy face. And to you, I am most appreciative. Thank you guys. :-)

/end rant