When will raiding become raiding?

So I have to admit, I'm a little aggravated. I've got a great group of people. No, we're not the best tanks, heals, or highest dps around, but we're committed and friendly. We came together so quickly it's hard to deny that there isn't a sense of family in the group.

But here's my problem. Last night we ran for two hours. Only two hours because everyone can't seem to get their crap together and get their on time. But even that didn't really bother me, last night anyway.

We started out in the Death Knight quarter and I knew it was going to be fun. I was really dreading the Four Horsemen fight. I mean, we had a tough time with Thaddius. Getting this boss down was going to include a steep learning curve to overcome. But, we charged in there and one shot Instructor Raz, two shot Gothik, and spent the rest of the night on Four Horsemen.

I gotta tell ya, the mood is what really pissed me off. Or maybe it was just the mood amoung my officers. But it felt like no one really gave a rats behind what we did or didn't do. Everyone seemed just...upset. And that really gets my goat. We downed a boss for our second time ever and then we downed a boss for the first time...but everyone's upset? How is that possible?

Maybe I'm over reacting. Maybe I'm seeing things that aren't there, or are there but not on everyone like it felt like.

Or maybe everyone's upset because we're not in Uldar yet. That's a strong possibility, and honestly I don't blame them. But seriously...our group's not ready. Our dps has a little ways to go and our healers really need to coordinate better. There always seems to be confusion amoung them. Then our tanks...we've got some really good tanks, but there's competition. I dunno if it's unintentional or not, but I swear our tanks are always fighting over targets. It really frustrates me.

So when does raiding become raiding? At what point to people realize "hey it's a game, I'm supposed to be having fun" and start enjoying the place? When do my guys go "hey we could do this so much faster and better if I did this"? When do we go to go and not because of obligation? When do I have nights of not one single complaint? When can everything go smoothly and just be a nice, enjoyable night? When does that occur?

Cause I'm ready for it!

Farther than we've been

Last night was one of those nights. Jules and Del didn't have internet. Asanta had a fried computer from no power. Teacc, Nakar, and Haisk were all running late. Taaka wouldn't be able to make it. It was just one of those nights. One of the ones to dread...and normally I would have. But I was in a semi-positive mood so I tried not to let these things get the best of me and just enjoyed myself talking to everyone and getting ready for our run.

So Kroff postponed our run for half an hour so we all wouldn't be sitting around twiddling our thumbs while we waited for enough people to show. When we finally got started, Poncho and Mar stepped up to the plate and brought the toons that we needed. They were really sweet and I'm really glad they decided to go last night. Skylarr volunteered her husband if we need extra dps so we grabbed him and off we went. We charged in with 23 to start working on Thaddius. Teacc and Haisk eventually showed up and about that time Goy logged on. So I gave Goy my spot for the extra dps and dropped raid. The other officers and Mar and Poncho both fussed at me, but I didn't mind. Besides it was better for the raid that we did it that way. They needed the dps more than they needed me and I would still be watching over Kroff's shoulder. So in they plunged. A couple of tries on him to no avail. Everyone seemed to be pretty discouraged. Poncho whispered me and told me he only had time for one more try before he had to jet so I could take his place when he left. They didn't get him down, so he dropped group and they got me back in there. At this point in time I had a couple of people threatening to leave and everyone was dead quiet.

So I got on, still positive and told everyone we could do this and hang in there. Kroff was trying to be encouraging as well and told everyone to not give up yet, that we could do this. We charged into Thaddius's room and off we went. Add's down, we hopped over, only losing one person on the way. Thaddius activated, Grayshun picked him up and we were off! We lost one person on the first switch and I let her stay down. We lost another person on the third or fourth switch and I let him stay down. We were under half now and we lost another dps and a healer. I battle rezed the healer and warned him not to take it yet so he wouldn't kill half the raid when he popped. He stayed down but didn't hear me when I told him to take it. At this point we were almost there but the enrage timer was almost upon us. I started talking in vent 'Don't give up. Keep pushing it. We're almost there.'

He enraged and our tank dropped. Del told me to pick him up but at this point he had already turned and one shot me. I was hovered over his health and watched people drop like flies. We could have this though.

Keep going! Don't quit!

He dropped! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOO HOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had to jump up I was so excited. I had a couple whispers telling me it was all because of me and that I was back. Haha, I highly doubt that. I was thrilled we got him down though.

After that we charged back to the DK quarter to take on Raz. We didn't have much time left so we really had to hump it to get there. It was 7 server right as we finished the last of the trash. Del explained the fight and we gave him a spot.

We one shot him.

No way! We just one shot him. This is the fight we've all been stressing about? OMG he was cake. We didn't even lose anyone...

Unbelieveable.

I swear if we'd had more time I would have loved to keep charging. Morale was definitely higher after that. We were charged and ready to go. But we had too many that had to call it a night, myself included to keep going.

We're going to start in the DK quarter next raid though and fly through there. I'm not worried at all about Gothick, but I am worried about the Four Horsemen. That's going to be a tricky one. I see us spending quite a bit of time learning the fight for it. But once we get it...it's all downhill from there.

I'm proud of my guys. :-) I wish they could have seen how proud I was of them last night. I know my face was beaming. Everyone had stuck with us, even if they didn't want to and we had overcome the odds together. It was a wonderful feeling of accomplishment. And definitely pride.

I must be the luckiest guild leader in the whole world. :-)

Addicted

Okay, so I have no clue what it is, but I'm addicted. Totally engrossed. Like, would spend all day in this activity.

I'm addicted to the Twilight books.

*Hangs head in shame* Yes, I know. I'm such a romantic sap.

Here's the thing though. I really, honestly, do not have any clue what is so alluring to me about them. The story is good. It's a totally different approach on things that most American's would consider horror. The tale is totally romantic. And heaven knows I'm a romantic sap. The plot line is intense...for me at least. Once I start reading, it's really, really hard for me to put the book down. I get absorbed by the story. I can actually see it being played out in my head. Which, true, isn't really hard for me to do if it's a good book. It's why I enjoy reading so much.

But there's something else. Something I can't quite put my finger on. I think it's because I can relate myself to Bella. Not completely, but there are small parts there that remind me of me.

For example:

*disclaimer* I'm going to put details here so please don't read this if you want to be surprised. *end disclaimer*

In the second book, Edward leaves Bella. Her one true love. The man....err...vampire, she wants to spend the rest of her life...wait, eternity with. Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Boy leaves girl. There we go.

So when boy leaves, girl breaks down. Not just a "omg it's the end of the world how will I ever go on without him" breakdown. She stops functioning. For the first week or so, she can't eat or sleep or really live. She's totally...well, broken. The one person that completed her has abandoned her and left her in pieces. Emotional pieces that take it's toll on her outside.

I was like that once. Sometimes...I still feel like that. Broken. I spent most of my young adult life feeling like that. Shattered from the inside out. Feeling abandoned, worthless, and not wanting to live. Not just because of a boy either. That came later... My problems before him were closer to home.

In any case, that may be why I enjoy the book so much. I can relate.

I'm on book four now. Not very far in but I'm at the point where Bella and Edward get married. It brings back so many memories. She's so enthralled with the love of her...existence...haha...that she completely forgets everything and everyone around her. She's locked into his eyes, his face, his very being. It's how I was at our wedding. Nothing else mattered. I was focused on the love of my life. I had a hard time looking at him a couple of times because I wanted to burst into tears. I felt so loved...so unworthy of his love...and so very blessed.

It's been over a year now and I'm still married to the love of my life. The one person in this world I can't imagine being without. I would have no future if it weren't for him. He's kept me happy, settled, and sane...well somewhat. I pray that I never look at him in any other way than the unconditional love I feel for him. I pray that my eyes continue to light up when I see his face or hear his voice. I pray my heart continues to flutter a little every time I see an e-mail or text from him, no matter what it says.

I never had to make a choice the way the heroine of our story does, but I can relate to her. I do feel the way she feels about Edward about my Jeremy. I love him.

So my small following has been after me to update...so I'm updating. :-P

Now what to write about?

It seems that here lately, it's getting harder and harder for me to write what I actual think. Words on the screen just can't really express how I feel, what I feel. Heck, I can't even SAY what I'm actually thinking. My husband and I went to bed extraordinarily early, well for us anyway, last night and just laid in bed. We talked for a while, but I had a billion things I wanted to say. Questions, thoughts, ramblings...but every time I started to say something, I didn't. I dunno why either. I mean, I trust him...love him with all my heart, the thought of saying somethings out loud though...

So I'm lost in thought...in the most literal sense of the word possible.

When all else fails...write about life! So here goes...

As you all are aware, Kroff and I went to Las Vegas last week. It was a rather short trip, but we had fun nonetheless. I worked 8+ hours a day each day, but at night we went out and explored and saw a lot of marvelous things. The fountains of Bellagio were...amazing. The effiel tower at Paris. Ceasar's Palace. Beautiful places...many beautiful places.

Don't get me wrong...there's no way in Hades I would ever live there. The hooker trading cards, the soft porn everywhere advertising women, the bars and club life every night...yea no thank you. I enjoy my small town life thank you very much.

But it was nice to visit. Nice to see once and maybe I'll be ready to go again someday and finish seeing the stuff we didn't get to see the first go round.

When we got back from Las Vegas...I caught a nice little...whatever you call this. I don't think it's a cold, I think it's just my sinus's, but it's driving me nuts that's for sure. My head's been pouding most of the week, my nose is like a fountain, I've developed a nice cough that's down in my chest now, and Monday I had myself a nice little fever complete with the shakes. Yea, it's been just dandy since we got back.

I am feeling better today though. I've been trying very hard to take care of myself and make sure my body get's back to feeling better before too long.

And honestly, that's probably why I feel the way I feel, or part of it anyway.

I've been reading the Twilight books lately. I know, I'm behind. But these are the first books I've picked up and read in a very long time. I've told my husband I'm a reader and that when I get into a book, I can't put it down. But he's never seen me do that before...until now. I read book one in three days and book two in two. We're going to try to find book three and four at lunch today so I can charge into them.

It feels good to read again. I get so lost in the book. Book two was incredibly sad for me and I sat and cried for a long time as I read it yesterday. (I'm sure part of that was due to my miserable state of being yesterday as well.) I was so entralled by the picture, the movie, my mind was creating as I read. I almost forgot what it was like.

I have read some in the past few years, but I've not really read...I've not been captured by a book. I was thinking about it this morning, and it's probably because what I had read most recently were all non-fiction and biographies. I haven't read a good fiction book in a long time. And actually thinking about it, I think the last set of books I read that I was so lost in like this was the Han Solo trilogy...yes I know, I'm a nerd. But I really can't remember getting lost in a book since then. Well, maybe John Grisham's Testament. I can't remember if that was before or after Han Solo.

It doesn't really matter though. It's been a long time...too long since I've read like that. So I made myself a promise this morning. I'm going to the library and getting a library card soon. Sooner depending on how I feel. And I'm going to read again. A lot. I like being lost in a story like that. I like the fact that my mind is actively throwing pictures up and putting itself in the shoes of the main character. I love catching the little details and noticing the patterns and unique qualities that make up these people. Ugh, I can't explain it...or explain it well.

I think...more than anything...it makes me want to write. I miss writing. I've said it time and time again, but I really do. I miss sitting at my keyboard and just letting the words come. I love being lost in my own creativity.

But it's been so long. I don't even know where to start. I'm empty.

So I'm going to read. I'm going to read until something hits me. I'm going to read until my creativity is sparked again. I'm going to read until I can write again.

A Different Approach

For those of you who don't know me personally, my life is more than just WOW and leading a guild. I'm a 23 year old young woman. I started college and never finished. I have about two years under my belt and while I really want to finish, my laziness has been getting in the way. That and the fact that I still have no clue what I want to do for a living. Right now I work as an Administrative Assistant for an architecture firm. I'm grateful for my job in this crumbling financial world right now, and also because that's where I met my wonderful husband.

I'm also a mother of two boys. One of the Boxer persuasion and the other a mixed breed, Schnauzer and Carine Terrier to be exact. And a male rabbit if you want to count him. :-) I'm a daughter, grand-daughter, sister-in-law, daughter-in-law, and aunt.

I love my life. It's nothing extraordinary, but it's mine. I consider myself very blessed to be where I am, have what I have, and have the wonderful family I do. Blessed indeed.

Which brings me to where I was going with this.

Part of my description also includes the word Christian. I'm a Christian. A daughter of the Almighty God. I believe there's only one way to Heaven and that's through the saving power of Jesus Christ, the only Son of God who came to earth to die a horrible death and save us from our sins. I believe He was dead and buried for three days and on the third day, what we now celebrate as Easter, He rose from the dead and now sits at the right hand of His Father God.

I believe my life has a purpose, but I don't know what that is yet. I've been struggling with it a lot lately. I've really been fighting depression about it. And it's been affecting everything I do and say. Not something I'm particularly proud of, but it's been occurring nonetheless. I know part of it has to do with the fact that I don't have a church home where I am. And part of it has to do with the fact that I was...am, I'm not really sure...angry at God.

Back in January they did a lot of layoffs for the second time around at work and something inside me snapped. I got really angry. And to this day, I don't think I've gotten over it. One of the many hurdles I have to overcome.

There's something on my heart. Something that's been there for a few days now. I try not to concentrate too much on it because the husband and I have already talked and we don't see eye to eye on the subject, but I can't shake the desire. I don't want to share what exactly it is, but if you read this, will you pray for me?

I have a lot of work to do in my life and I have a hard time believe that these feelings are from God because of how pathetic of a Christian I have been lately. But these thoughts...the desire...it's there, and it's strong. If this is something God wants of me and for me, we have a lot of work to do. And first things first, He's got to do some change of heart in my husband. I prayed about it the other day and I told Him, I'll go with it and go for it, but He's got to show me it's what I'm supposed to do first. And I can't think of a bigger "Tab do this" sign than my husband going for it.

So if you'll pray that, if this is what God wants from me and of me, He gives my husband a change of heart. And secondly, if it's not His will for my life, then take these desires from me. I know it's hard to pray for something you don't know the details of, but He knows. I don't doubt that for one second and neither should you.

Naxx 25

Last night we charged back into Naxx 25 to work on some of the wings we didn't get to on Sunday. We definitely had a lack of Sacred Pack folks, but we got a few friends and pugged a couple and went in anyway. It went really well! Even with as many "out of the norm" people that we had, we downed a few bosses and walked away with no de'ed items. Success in my book!

We've been talking about possibly cutting out organized ten mans all together, but that's still up in the air. I'm kind of on the fence about what I want to do in that respect. I love the ten mans and the intimate setting they provide. There's potential for a lot of fun to be had. But I am starting to agree with my husband that we're running out of time before Uldar hits. Heck fire, it could hit today for all we know. Although Wow Insider is pretty sure no patch today. I'm personally glad. I don't feel we're ready as a guild.

There's still problems that need to be worked on. I feel we have a couple of people who still have big heads and think they're da bomb. And I think at the opposite end of the spectrum we have some folks who haven't unlocked their full potential. I also think our leadership needs some bonding time. We disagree, which is to be expected, but when we talk on the forums, I feel like some people hold back. Now I don't mean they want to bite everyone elses heads off or whatever, but I don't think they let out everything they want to say. I myself am guilty of this. I worry constantly about hurting someone's feelings rather than saying what needs to be said. I think my worry of that really hurts my leadership potential at times. Just one of those things to work on. :-)

All in all though, I am a lot more relaxed with the whole guild situation. I don't think we're as close as we could/should be. But that comes in time. I think we have an awesome group of people and I'm excited about our future. :-)

A Weekend to Remember

Well it was a really nice weekend for Kroff and myself. I surprised him with a trip to the lake where I had rented a small lakehouse for us and the boys. We left out Friday after work and stayed up there a couple of nights. It was a nice place. Small, but nice. It was big enough for the two of us plus two dogs so I can't complain.

I packed a cooler to make all our meals all weekend so we never had to leave the cabin. We took the boys for walks, watched the sunset, and watched movies all day Saturday. We ended up taking a mid-day nap which was awesome! I can't tell you the last time I had a nap. And since the boys decided to get us both up at 7:30 each morning...it was very welcome. :-)

For our actual anniversary we checked out of the cabin, got breakfast on the way home, got home and unpacked and took it easy for a while. I did some laundry while Jeremy played with the boys outside and did some things around the yard. A little after lunch time we took showers, got ready and went out for a little bit. We went by Lowes and got some new blinds for the game room, had pizza at Metros, and did some shopping at Wally World. We got home a little before our scheduled raid so we played Mario Kart for a little while and took it easy before the raid. I popped on about half an hour before start time and chatted it up with everyone.

Jules popped on not long after I did and we talked about what we didn't have and what we did have for the raid. We were short a healer and a couple dps. I checked everyone I knew to no avail so I just sat back and waited for us to start. After searching for a while, they still couldn't find anyone so Del said we were gonna go with the 23 we had and just do the best we could. So in we charged to OS.

It went surprisingly smooth. I was very impressed with how well our guys did. We lost a few here and there and the Sartharion fight was anything but pretty, but we got him down. Everyone cheered and we raised the dead and distributed loot. Nothing was de'ed so it was a good night.

After OS we picked up another dps and charged into Naxx. The spider wing up first, we one shot Anub and then wiped on Grand Widow. I have to say, it wasn't a bad wipe. The tanks weren't all in sync and our shadow priest is brand new to shadow and still working on mcing. We talked about what went wrong and charged back in for attempt number 2. And it was perfect. I think we lost one person and only had to dispel two of the frenzies. How awesome!

We finished off the spider wing and went onto the plague wing. Maexnna was a one shot but we wiped on Noth. Again, it wasn't a bad wipe. The reason for our wipe was because curses weren't coming off fast enough. We only had one mage and I think the first go round she was the only one decursing. The second round, we had more decursing and we finished Noth off with only a couple of deaths. Not bad at all. Loot out, on to Heigan!

Oh now there's a fun fight with 25 people! I have to say, my head wasn't in this fight either. We had two people dc'ing because of bad weather and one of them was texting me. I was trying to write him back when my mom called. It's almost the end of raid time so I was trying to talk to mom and do the DDR dance and it just wasn't happening. I didn't make it through the first dance. Totally my fault, I know, but what can you do?

So we lost people along the dances, but I must say, watching the fight, most of our guys did really well. I know a few people had never done Heigan before so it was definitely a learning experience for some. I'm confident we'll wipe the floor with his face tonight!

All in all, a VERY awesome night for our crew. It was relaxed...mostly, and everyone seemed pretty happy and excited to be there. There was no arguing over loot, which let me tell you, was awesome! And we blasted through some content. I'm excited about going back in tonight. :-)

Cake, of the Birthday and Anniversary Kind

I've been gone for a bit, I apologize. Nakar has reminded me of that a couple of times this week. :-P

So here's what I've been doing. :-)

Last weekend my husband and I went to my home town. I haven't seen my family since Christmas so it was a long overdue visit. The occasion was my birthday and it was nice. We stayed two nights with my grandparents. I went shopping with my grandmother on Saturday. A good friend of mine also came over and hung out with us. We had my favorite Italian place in Kingsport for lunch, hamburgers for dinner and Cheddars for lunch on Sunday. Mmmmm, Cheddars....

So all in all it was a good weekend. It was extremely nice to get away from the pressures of work and the pressures I've been feeling in WOW lately. Plus I got the added benefit of seeing my family. :-) Good times!

So now that we're back, we've had some changes in the guild. Most of Coyote Moon has decided to leave us. Honestly, I saw it coming. After the words that were said, I figured someone would get their feelings hurt and there would be a huge exodus. And there was....at 4 in the morning when no one was around. Oh well...not my problem anymore.

Three of those guys decided to stay with us and I can honestly say I'm stoked! Sejje, Drozz, and Akashin we thank you for keeping Sacred Pack your home and we hope you are more at home here than you have been anywhere else. I'm glad you guys decided to stay. I know Drozz and Aka pretty well, I've talked to them quite a bit anyway. But Sejje I didn't know that well. I got the pleasure of running with him and talking to him last night. I gotta say, I'm impressed. A very nice person all around. Very nice to talk to and the enthusiasm he showed last night for the guild and for the game in general was very refreshing to me. I haven't met someone that excited to be doing things in a while. It's definitely a needed reminder that we are just playing a game and it's not our job, even if it does feel like it at times.

So with all that going down, we've dropped our raids to two again and plan on keeping it that way. I held a small guild meeting last night and explained everything going on and reasured everyone that no one was kicked and they left of their own accord. We're not mad at anyone as a guild and we're going to keep trugging along at the ten and 25 man content. We've got the bodies and the desire so I'll do everything in my power to keep us going. :-)

I have to say, I'm honestly relieved that things are done now. I wish it had happened differently, as in, more than one person who left had the courtesy to at least e-mail me and tell me what the hell was going on. But whatever. Immaturity can't be hid for long.

I signed on last night and was greeted with "Taaabbbbsss" and "OMG TAB!" It was nice. Not just because I was missed, but because people were talking. Guild chat was alive and active last night and it was awesome! I had a lot of fun last night just chatting it up and hanging out with my buddies. That's what WOW is all about.

Ooooo as a side note. I received a mail from Dero yesterday... Yea, tell me about it. WAY out in left field for me. But, he apologized for his actions and what happened between us, told us he missed talking to us, and hoped we could forgive him. I talked to him quite a while last night and I gotta tell ya, it was nice. Definitely wouldn't have expected it in a million years, but I'm glad he's talking to us again. I hate tension and walls between people, no matter what has gone down in the past. It was a heavy burden gone when he apologized.

So things are improving and I'm actually feeling pretty peaceful. My job is picking up and that definitely takes the edge off at work some. This weekend is my one year anniversary and I'm excited! I can't believe it's been a year since we were married. We're not the newly weds anymore after this weekend hehe. Oh, which reminds me.

Nakar...baby room pictures...post on the forums...go.

Kinda out in left field for everyone else, but Nakar's one year anniversary is NEXT weekend so it made me think he still hasn't put pics up haha.

Well I guess that's it. Back to work!