A Different Approach

For those of you who don't know me personally, my life is more than just WOW and leading a guild. I'm a 23 year old young woman. I started college and never finished. I have about two years under my belt and while I really want to finish, my laziness has been getting in the way. That and the fact that I still have no clue what I want to do for a living. Right now I work as an Administrative Assistant for an architecture firm. I'm grateful for my job in this crumbling financial world right now, and also because that's where I met my wonderful husband.

I'm also a mother of two boys. One of the Boxer persuasion and the other a mixed breed, Schnauzer and Carine Terrier to be exact. And a male rabbit if you want to count him. :-) I'm a daughter, grand-daughter, sister-in-law, daughter-in-law, and aunt.

I love my life. It's nothing extraordinary, but it's mine. I consider myself very blessed to be where I am, have what I have, and have the wonderful family I do. Blessed indeed.

Which brings me to where I was going with this.

Part of my description also includes the word Christian. I'm a Christian. A daughter of the Almighty God. I believe there's only one way to Heaven and that's through the saving power of Jesus Christ, the only Son of God who came to earth to die a horrible death and save us from our sins. I believe He was dead and buried for three days and on the third day, what we now celebrate as Easter, He rose from the dead and now sits at the right hand of His Father God.

I believe my life has a purpose, but I don't know what that is yet. I've been struggling with it a lot lately. I've really been fighting depression about it. And it's been affecting everything I do and say. Not something I'm particularly proud of, but it's been occurring nonetheless. I know part of it has to do with the fact that I don't have a church home where I am. And part of it has to do with the fact that I was...am, I'm not really sure...angry at God.

Back in January they did a lot of layoffs for the second time around at work and something inside me snapped. I got really angry. And to this day, I don't think I've gotten over it. One of the many hurdles I have to overcome.

There's something on my heart. Something that's been there for a few days now. I try not to concentrate too much on it because the husband and I have already talked and we don't see eye to eye on the subject, but I can't shake the desire. I don't want to share what exactly it is, but if you read this, will you pray for me?

I have a lot of work to do in my life and I have a hard time believe that these feelings are from God because of how pathetic of a Christian I have been lately. But these thoughts...the desire...it's there, and it's strong. If this is something God wants of me and for me, we have a lot of work to do. And first things first, He's got to do some change of heart in my husband. I prayed about it the other day and I told Him, I'll go with it and go for it, but He's got to show me it's what I'm supposed to do first. And I can't think of a bigger "Tab do this" sign than my husband going for it.

So if you'll pray that, if this is what God wants from me and of me, He gives my husband a change of heart. And secondly, if it's not His will for my life, then take these desires from me. I know it's hard to pray for something you don't know the details of, but He knows. I don't doubt that for one second and neither should you.