So my small following has been after me to update...so I'm updating. :-P

Now what to write about?

It seems that here lately, it's getting harder and harder for me to write what I actual think. Words on the screen just can't really express how I feel, what I feel. Heck, I can't even SAY what I'm actually thinking. My husband and I went to bed extraordinarily early, well for us anyway, last night and just laid in bed. We talked for a while, but I had a billion things I wanted to say. Questions, thoughts, ramblings...but every time I started to say something, I didn't. I dunno why either. I mean, I trust him...love him with all my heart, the thought of saying somethings out loud though...

So I'm lost in thought...in the most literal sense of the word possible.

When all else fails...write about life! So here goes...

As you all are aware, Kroff and I went to Las Vegas last week. It was a rather short trip, but we had fun nonetheless. I worked 8+ hours a day each day, but at night we went out and explored and saw a lot of marvelous things. The fountains of Bellagio were...amazing. The effiel tower at Paris. Ceasar's Palace. Beautiful places...many beautiful places.

Don't get me wrong...there's no way in Hades I would ever live there. The hooker trading cards, the soft porn everywhere advertising women, the bars and club life every night...yea no thank you. I enjoy my small town life thank you very much.

But it was nice to visit. Nice to see once and maybe I'll be ready to go again someday and finish seeing the stuff we didn't get to see the first go round.

When we got back from Las Vegas...I caught a nice little...whatever you call this. I don't think it's a cold, I think it's just my sinus's, but it's driving me nuts that's for sure. My head's been pouding most of the week, my nose is like a fountain, I've developed a nice cough that's down in my chest now, and Monday I had myself a nice little fever complete with the shakes. Yea, it's been just dandy since we got back.

I am feeling better today though. I've been trying very hard to take care of myself and make sure my body get's back to feeling better before too long.

And honestly, that's probably why I feel the way I feel, or part of it anyway.

I've been reading the Twilight books lately. I know, I'm behind. But these are the first books I've picked up and read in a very long time. I've told my husband I'm a reader and that when I get into a book, I can't put it down. But he's never seen me do that before...until now. I read book one in three days and book two in two. We're going to try to find book three and four at lunch today so I can charge into them.

It feels good to read again. I get so lost in the book. Book two was incredibly sad for me and I sat and cried for a long time as I read it yesterday. (I'm sure part of that was due to my miserable state of being yesterday as well.) I was so entralled by the picture, the movie, my mind was creating as I read. I almost forgot what it was like.

I have read some in the past few years, but I've not really read...I've not been captured by a book. I was thinking about it this morning, and it's probably because what I had read most recently were all non-fiction and biographies. I haven't read a good fiction book in a long time. And actually thinking about it, I think the last set of books I read that I was so lost in like this was the Han Solo trilogy...yes I know, I'm a nerd. But I really can't remember getting lost in a book since then. Well, maybe John Grisham's Testament. I can't remember if that was before or after Han Solo.

It doesn't really matter though. It's been a long time...too long since I've read like that. So I made myself a promise this morning. I'm going to the library and getting a library card soon. Sooner depending on how I feel. And I'm going to read again. A lot. I like being lost in a story like that. I like the fact that my mind is actively throwing pictures up and putting itself in the shoes of the main character. I love catching the little details and noticing the patterns and unique qualities that make up these people. Ugh, I can't explain it...or explain it well.

I think...more than anything...it makes me want to write. I miss writing. I've said it time and time again, but I really do. I miss sitting at my keyboard and just letting the words come. I love being lost in my own creativity.

But it's been so long. I don't even know where to start. I'm empty.

So I'm going to read. I'm going to read until something hits me. I'm going to read until my creativity is sparked again. I'm going to read until I can write again.